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Thursday, March 27, 2008
(tapping the mic) Can you hear me?
It's nearly three years since I started this blog and I have decided it's time to take it down. I took a quick spin through my archives and saved all my pictures and tried not to re-read much of what I wrote. Suffice to say that I am satisfied that I DEALT with the events of my fertility woes THOROUGHLY and as such have made it through to the other side pretty well in tact. More compassionate in some respects, less patient in others. But all is well and if this were a movie the credits would have been comfortably rolling a long time ago. Viewers would have felt ready to stand up and stretch their legs shortly after C's birth. Well, you can go now:)
Thank-you so much for the friendship and support. I hope I have reciprocated in some small way to everyone who was so generous to me. I know I have made lifelong friends here who don't need this blog to keep in touch with me. I am sad that the small mark my lost baby made on the world is about to be deleted. By me. But it's time, and the people who need to remember him always will. And that will have to be enough.
Please come and visit my new blog dedicated to my children's portraiture and I will continue to visit yours. Or at least Google Reader will visit on my behalf and bring me your news ;)
As a final note I will say this: If you have just begun this journey, no amount of reassurance will convince you that things can ever be OK again. But it will be. Different, but OK. But for now, just immerse yourself in this community and be safe while you heal.
Wishing you all the best. Buh-bye :)
[roll credits]
ETA: It took hours but the blog is gone. Not saved, deleted. It's was kinda like that fat photo someone took when you weren't ready. You knew what you looked like but sucked it all in and posed for the camera only someone caught it all hanging out. That photo inspires change, but it gets put in the back of the drawer lol. The reflection of all that occurred, always right there, was weighing me down honestly. I'm not that person now.
There were some sad moments pressing the delete button, but I felt I had left it up long after it's natural end in the hope that someone would identify and feel better. But now I am putting my photog blog out there and that is about the future. In any case, there are more eloquent bloggers than me saying the same thing but better. I will miss being in the midst of all you guys, but will remain on the fringes anyway:)
